Hit me baby one more time

This song seems to be on a loop in the playlist of quite a few people in the recent while. Admittedly, there are different interpretations that each one makes out of it, but royalty paid to Britney Spears has certainly gone through the roof.

1. Donald Trump

He has been reportedly listening to it with a manic gleam in his eyes. The more controversies he is hit with, the better. He revels in taking stick as the leader of Obama's birther conspiracies. So much so that he recently had to release his own birth certificate to prove that he wasn't fathered by an orangutan (Serious!). What a triumph that was!

2. Barack Obama

The poor guy has been listening to it with a rather resigned look on his face. He can't seem to do anything these days without escaping criticism. Budget. BAM! Foreign affairs. BAM! Holidays with family. BAM BAM!! "What has Biden been up to again? Oh come on now!!"

3. Lance Armstrong

A modified version of this is apparently a long time favorite of Lance and he sang it everyday until 2005. Or so he claims. It goes, "Hit me up baby one more time. With needles, syringes and epinephrine". He has been heard listening to it again recently though. Dosing up before delivering one of the most sham apologies the world has seen?

4. Maria Sharapova

The women's dressing room is apparently cowering in terror as Maria starts shrieking this out at full pelt before every match imagining herself to be the tennis ball. It has affected her opponents so badly that she became the first woman to win two matches 6-0 6-0 consecutively. Even Venus Williams was battered into submission. Maria strives to continue with it at all future matches beyond the Australian Open.

5. Ravindra Jadeja

Ravindra Jadeja apparently had this as a theme song whenever he went in to bowl. Until he watched Pulp Fiction. And in his best Samuel L Jackson imitation went, "Hit me baby, one more time" and proceeded to unload on the hapless Jade Dernbach. The hairstyle is definitely getting there Jadeja. Now to work on those sideburns and beard.

Breaking Out

So I have a bone to pick. And it is with the fourth estate. There used to be a time when I would sit with an open newspaper in front of me, the first thing in the morning. Spend about half an hour to 45 minutes reading about what was going on in the world and then happily go about my business. Key point. Happily.

Not anymore though. The headline in the picture above is a rare attempt at bringing humor to a serious subject. When was the last time anyone read a news article and finished it with a smile on their faces? Quite frankly the only purpose news serves these days is to remind me to be thankful that I am not suffering the same as the people mentioned in there. Every time I open a website, my biggest fear is seeing a banner headline on the top with the letters in twice the font as the rest of the page. That just spells disaster. Even when there is none of that, the rest of the stuff is just downright despairing.

Just a short sample of the news I have been reading through the last few days: School shootings, rapes, fiscal cliff, debt ceiling, some more shootings, bombings, missile attacks, soldiers getting killed, corruption scandals, hate speeches. Give it a rest! Am I to believe that there is no positive news in the world and in the last couple of weeks there have been no positive deeds? In despair, I turn to the sports section. Where being a fan of Arsenal and the Indian cricket team does you absolutely no favors. Even the usually reliably positive Sachin Tendulkar articles started catching on tinges of sourness, until he decided to announce his retirement. Cue the emotional tear-jerking overdrive. But hey, I am not complaining. At least there is still some positivity to it!

Faith in the government is probably lower than at any other point in history. You would be hard pressed to find someone in India who would think that the current Prime Minister is doing a good job. And half the population in the US believes the wrong man was elected as the President. Even the remaining half is not fully convinced that the right man was elected. It was just that the alternative was worse. And opinions seem to sink lower everyday. And why won’t it? Where is there any positive news about the government on our news channels? They surely cannot be doing everything wrong! If they did, we wouldn’t have a world to live in. So they must be doing something right. But what is that something? Your guess is as good as mine.

Now I am not claiming that negative news items should be brushed under the carpet. Of course we deserve to know what is going wrong in the world. But even these news items can be reported in a positive light. Shootings are disturbing. But more focus on the victims and the families affected would probably be more positive than focusing almost exclusively on the shooter’s movements to almost last minute precision. I do not need to know how many computer games Adam Lanza played a day before the shootings or how many times he reloaded and discarded his cartridges. Though I would definitely like to know more about the children whose lives he cut short. It is a choice between feeling grief when reading about the victims or feeling anger when reading about the shooter. Neither of them is particularly positive but then anger never really helped anybody.

In the brutal rape in India, I find it surprising that no Indian news agency seems to have reported the victim’s name. The foreign media, on the other hand is freely reporting her name after the family gave interviews and permission to do so. It simply baffles me. More so because the names of her assailants are quite freely released. We do not live in China or North Korea where every bit of information is spoon-fed to us. Then why this selective journalism? And what kind of message are we sending out by glorifying the evil and neglecting the victims. We just encourage more copycat incidents. You want to get your name in the papers? Sure! Go ahead and do something notorious. More negative news to report. More newspapers sold.

Sigh! We need Raju Srivastava for Prime Minister, I tell you. Only hope for such headlines.

New beginnings

I was having a look at my earlier posts here today. The last time I wrote here, Pratibha Patil was still the Indian President. Ajmal Kasab was still alive. Shah Rukh Khan’s KKR were still the crappiest team in the IPL. Rahul Dravid was still playing regularly. I was still studying. Dinosaurs still roamed this planet. Oh wait, hang on. Got carried away there for a moment. Though it has been, to put it in a word, AGES!

Every year, I make resolutions for the new year. I solemnly swear to follow each and every one of them until my last breath. And then they are broken faster than you can say January! One I made this year is to get this blog running again. Clear out the cobwebs, dust it down and hope that it doesn’t lie discarded like some grand old haveli.

But blogs don’t write themselves. After all, I am not in the possession of Barack Obama’s autopen. Over the past year, I have used several excuses for not maintaining the blog. Being a lazy ass is what people called it. Having been sensitized to the American culture over the past couple of years, of having a politically correct name for everything, I called it writer’s block. And anyway the Mayans had done us a massive favor. I mean what was the point in doing anything if the world was about to end on December 21 right? In terms of a letdown, it was probably right up there with Bejan Daruwalla’s “India will win the World Cup in 2007 with Munaf Patel being Player of the Tournament”. Heck this time even Sachin Tendulkar was disappointed to the point of retirement.

And so 2013 rolled in. On a somber note for India. For once, protests moved out of Facebook and spilled out onto the streets, as we finally woke up to the fact that even though we might have been among the first countries in the world to have a woman head of state, we are still pretty much near the bottom of the barrel when it comes to dishing out respect to women in our capital. As disgusted as I am by the incident, I am proud of the response it has generated in the nation. It doesn't happen in every country. A similar incident would have almost gone unreported in the US, but for the efforts of the hacker group Anonymous. Sometimes we have to bring the problems of our society out in the public domain, for them to be recognized and rectified. And for that reason, I am proud. We probably need a change in mentality more than stricter laws, but at least we recognize the need for it.

2013 also came in on a somber note in the US. As the hours clicked by to December 31, US lawmakers quibbled among themselves as they pushed the country closer to the so called fiscal cliff and the world closer to another economic depression. Almost like giving a child a crystal ball to play with and asking him not to drop it. But then, probably we engineers aren't the only procrastinators in the world. With a year to work something out, a deal was finally reached at 2 am, a couple of hours past the deadline. That is probably when the magnitude of the influx of Indian engineers here really starts to hit you. We really are taking over the world aren't we?

Well this is only the beginning of the year and so many more positive things to look forward to in the coming months as I look to keep this going. It promises to be an exciting 2013! Now if only I can get my hands on that darned autopen..