Hello readers!! Another week gone by and as we head off into the weekend with the glee of a baby getting a new rattle, I present yet another post on this blog. Now considering that this blog is about sifting through news, I thought about getting a guest editor for every week to save myself the effort. My target this week? Amitabh Bachchan. Result? Close miss, he has gone to CNN-IBN for the day but I nearly had him, nearly! Next time then!
Into news now. And at the risk of being repetitive, I will tackle Sania Mirza first again. She wreaked so much havoc with her announcement last week, that Bush and Blair (or master and poodle, whichever takes your fancy) nearly announced her as the WMD they had been looking for in Iraq. Well, she decided to make up for it. And just a week after declaring that she would quit tennis after marriage, she decided to call off her engagement altogether. I suspect in future mathematics classes this is the example teachers will use, when explaining the perfect 180 degree angle.
On 26 January, India celebrated its 61st Republic Day. 2 paragraphs into the President's address on the evening of the 25th and it was ensured that the country would wake up bright and early for the parade next morning. Brilliant tactics!
The Padma awards were again distributed with the largesse of a king showering gold coins on his subjects. It was probably as thoughtless too, which would probably explain why an actor with half decent movies in the last half decade managed to get the same level of award as an actress with some awesome movies in the last 4 decades.
On then, to our favourite sport, cricket. And for all the connoisseurs who thought they had watched a good test match between India and Bangladesh, you are horribly mistaken. Batsmen whacking the bowlers around for nearly 5 runs an over, this isn't test cricket. Give me back my 90s. Give me back my Shastri and Manjrekar (who apparently when asked to accelerate, used to score at 2 an over). Give me back my Prasads, whose gentle leg cutters could be dispatched into orbit even by that old lady from Yorkshire (more famously known as Geoff Boycott's grandmum). THAT was test cricket at its best, not this run feast which the Sehwags and Dilshans keep treating us to all the time.
In other matches, the Kamran curse is still stuck on Pakistan as after 3 Tests and 3 One Dayers, they are still to win a match. So much for their claims of being the best team in the world! Rumours of the team not being united, a captain who doesn't know how to lead and an ex-captain who plays and disappears as he wishes, oh Pakistan, its good to have you back!
And finally Ravi Shastri has chosen a sly way of letting us know that the IPL is around the corner. His 'edged and TAKEN' routine is slowly gathering momentum again. Come the IPL and we wıll surely have him at his ear-splitting, blood vessel bursting best!
Moving on to tennis. Roger Federer waltzed his way into the semis of the Australian Open barely breaking into a sweat. And if he gets past Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (the match is on as I type this and Fedex already has the first set), he will face 'The Great British Hope' Andy Murray. Murray, meanwhile has asked boxer Ricky Hatton to be present courtside during the final for support. Well if push comes to shove, then we definitely know who will win the Australian Open! Victoria Azarenka and Caroline Wozniacki pushed my rapidly dying interest in Women's Singles to the 2nd week. However seeing Kim Clijsters during the US Open and comeback queen Justine Henin's performance here, I can safely predict that the French Open shall be Martina Navratilova's 168th singles title.
And finally football. My forlorn hope that Arsenal will not have an injured 11 team was shot out of the water as 2 more players made their way onto that godforsaken injury table. And I myself have managed to get all my fingers entangled in a futile attempt to cross them all in the hope that this injury ravaged Arsenal can somehow stop the rampaging Man United on Super Sunday (who as a matter of fact did a decent job of silencing their noisy blue neighbours on Wednesday), and somehow steal a victory.
So till I manage to get all my digits in their proper places again, so long!!
P.S. Hockey World Cup's around the corner. Please 'sport' your team a la Sehwag!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Introduction, Apocalypse and a bit more
Hello fellow readers!! After the sort of gestation period which an African elephant would have been proud of, I finally and humbly make my birth into the blog world. Hopefully it will be more eventful than my entry into the real world, which apparently was marked by my sleeping (or being knocked out, take your pick) for 3 straight days. Ah those carefree days!!
So then to jump right into it. The biggest news of the week was Sania Mirza's declaration of quitting tennis after marriage which shook up the world so hard, that poor old Haiti was knocked to the ground. But with all due respect to the suffering Haitians (including the perenially sobbing Wyclef Jean), Roland Emmerich did warn us that this was coming. So lets do something about it now. Lets pack our bags, run to China and land up at Comrade Hu Jintao's doorstep demanding to know the location of Mr. Noah's humungous Arks. Of course by doing that, we run 2 risks. Firstly Comrade Hu might never be able to find the Arks, considering the absence of Google Maps in the country to help him out. Secondly the Arks will be 'Made in China'. Need I say anything more?
Sticking on with comrades for a bit, 95 year old comrade Jyoti babu bid adieu to us earlier this week. Apparently he has not been cremated and his body has been given for medical research. Finally we get to know what goes into the genes of these politicians!
To the world of cricket now. Three test matches were completed (yes you read that correctly, 3 TEST MATCHES, did you know they still played that format!), over the course of the week. And after considering the 3 results, I would propose to the ICC to change their Man of the Match awards. That is if they listen to proposals from anyone, other than the bespectacled Lalit Modi. Seems more likely they will probably be hiding under all that sand in Dubai. But I digress. Firstly for the South Africa v England match, Graham Onions, for not playing. England dropped their premier batsman, the Hercules who stood between South Africa and victory with his barn-door sized bat on 2 occasions, and were promptly shot out for 180 and 169, crashing to an innings defeat within 4 days. Ouch! Talk about getting some onion in the eye.
Secondly, for the India v Bangladesh match, S.Sreesanth. His repeated over stepping, (he insists it was a bowling variation and even has a little dance just to prove it) made sure India turned in an 'extra'ordinary performance to beat Bangladesh's 'ordinary' one. And his repeated nostril flaring at the batsmen traumatised them to the extent that they got out just so that they could avoid facing him. Or the monster lurking inside his nose probably, who knows! How Sehwag must have loved him!
And finally for the Australia v Pakistan match, the 'dropped' Kamran Akmal. If the saying 'catches win matches' is true, Kamran has ensured that Pakistan won't win for the next 3 years atleast. Good time to improve those sporting relations, eh Mr. Gill?
In tennis, Sania Mirza's announcement has already been documented earlier. In the Australian Open, Roger Federer made his way into the third round waving merrily to Prince William during the match. The prince managed a shy, red-faced, giggly, love-struck wave back. Maria Sharapova out in the 1st round and Ana Ivanovic out in the 2nd. End of Australian Open Women's Singles as far as I am concerned!
And then football. Mr. Wenger gave the perfect riposte to people accusing him of signing only inexperienced 16-17 year olds. He signed on a 35 year old,so over the hill, that anymore and he would be underground. Welcome Sol!
And for all you hordes of chest thumping 'We are the best', 'Glory Glory Man Utd' fans out there,do check out your 716 million pounds of debt. And while you are at it, also check out the league table and see who is above you.
Thats that then! Hopefully there will be another one during the next week. So long!
So then to jump right into it. The biggest news of the week was Sania Mirza's declaration of quitting tennis after marriage which shook up the world so hard, that poor old Haiti was knocked to the ground. But with all due respect to the suffering Haitians (including the perenially sobbing Wyclef Jean), Roland Emmerich did warn us that this was coming. So lets do something about it now. Lets pack our bags, run to China and land up at Comrade Hu Jintao's doorstep demanding to know the location of Mr. Noah's humungous Arks. Of course by doing that, we run 2 risks. Firstly Comrade Hu might never be able to find the Arks, considering the absence of Google Maps in the country to help him out. Secondly the Arks will be 'Made in China'. Need I say anything more?
Sticking on with comrades for a bit, 95 year old comrade Jyoti babu bid adieu to us earlier this week. Apparently he has not been cremated and his body has been given for medical research. Finally we get to know what goes into the genes of these politicians!
To the world of cricket now. Three test matches were completed (yes you read that correctly, 3 TEST MATCHES, did you know they still played that format!), over the course of the week. And after considering the 3 results, I would propose to the ICC to change their Man of the Match awards. That is if they listen to proposals from anyone, other than the bespectacled Lalit Modi. Seems more likely they will probably be hiding under all that sand in Dubai. But I digress. Firstly for the South Africa v England match, Graham Onions, for not playing. England dropped their premier batsman, the Hercules who stood between South Africa and victory with his barn-door sized bat on 2 occasions, and were promptly shot out for 180 and 169, crashing to an innings defeat within 4 days. Ouch! Talk about getting some onion in the eye.
Secondly, for the India v Bangladesh match, S.Sreesanth. His repeated over stepping, (he insists it was a bowling variation and even has a little dance just to prove it) made sure India turned in an 'extra'ordinary performance to beat Bangladesh's 'ordinary' one. And his repeated nostril flaring at the batsmen traumatised them to the extent that they got out just so that they could avoid facing him. Or the monster lurking inside his nose probably, who knows! How Sehwag must have loved him!
And finally for the Australia v Pakistan match, the 'dropped' Kamran Akmal. If the saying 'catches win matches' is true, Kamran has ensured that Pakistan won't win for the next 3 years atleast. Good time to improve those sporting relations, eh Mr. Gill?
In tennis, Sania Mirza's announcement has already been documented earlier. In the Australian Open, Roger Federer made his way into the third round waving merrily to Prince William during the match. The prince managed a shy, red-faced, giggly, love-struck wave back. Maria Sharapova out in the 1st round and Ana Ivanovic out in the 2nd. End of Australian Open Women's Singles as far as I am concerned!
And then football. Mr. Wenger gave the perfect riposte to people accusing him of signing only inexperienced 16-17 year olds. He signed on a 35 year old,so over the hill, that anymore and he would be underground. Welcome Sol!
And for all you hordes of chest thumping 'We are the best', 'Glory Glory Man Utd' fans out there,do check out your 716 million pounds of debt. And while you are at it, also check out the league table and see who is above you.
Thats that then! Hopefully there will be another one during the next week. So long!
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