Introduction, Apocalypse and a bit more

Hello fellow readers!! After the sort of gestation period which an African elephant would have been proud of, I finally and humbly make my birth into the blog world. Hopefully it will be more eventful than my entry into the real world, which apparently was marked by my sleeping (or being knocked out, take your pick) for 3 straight days. Ah those carefree days!!
So then to jump right into it. The biggest news of the week was Sania Mirza's declaration of quitting tennis after marriage which shook up the world so hard, that poor old Haiti was knocked to the ground. But with all due respect to the suffering Haitians (including the perenially sobbing Wyclef Jean), Roland Emmerich did warn us that this was coming. So lets do something about it now. Lets pack our bags, run to China and land up at Comrade Hu Jintao's doorstep demanding to know the location of Mr. Noah's humungous Arks. Of course by doing that, we run 2 risks. Firstly Comrade Hu might never be able to find the Arks, considering the absence of Google Maps in the country to help him out. Secondly the Arks will be 'Made in China'. Need I say anything more?
Sticking on with comrades for a bit, 95 year old comrade Jyoti babu bid adieu to us earlier this week. Apparently he has not been cremated and his body has been given for medical research. Finally we get to know what goes into the genes of these politicians!
To the world of cricket now. Three test matches were completed (yes you read that correctly, 3 TEST MATCHES, did you know they still played that format!), over the course of the week. And after considering the 3 results, I would propose to the ICC to change their Man of the Match awards. That is if they listen to proposals from anyone, other than the bespectacled Lalit Modi. Seems more likely they will probably be hiding under all that sand in Dubai. But I digress. Firstly for the South Africa v England match, Graham Onions, for not playing. England dropped their premier batsman, the Hercules who stood between South Africa and victory with his barn-door sized bat on 2 occasions, and were promptly shot out for 180 and 169, crashing to an innings defeat within 4 days. Ouch! Talk about getting some onion in the eye.
Secondly, for the India v Bangladesh match, S.Sreesanth. His repeated over stepping, (he insists it was a bowling variation and even has a little dance just to prove it) made sure India turned in an 'extra'ordinary performance to beat Bangladesh's 'ordinary' one. And his repeated nostril flaring at the batsmen traumatised them to the extent that they got out just so that they could avoid facing him. Or the monster lurking inside his nose probably, who knows! How Sehwag must have loved him!
And finally for the Australia v Pakistan match, the 'dropped' Kamran Akmal. If the saying 'catches win matches' is true, Kamran has ensured that Pakistan won't win for the next 3 years atleast. Good time to improve those sporting relations, eh Mr. Gill?
In tennis, Sania Mirza's announcement has already been documented earlier. In the Australian Open, Roger Federer made his way into the third round waving merrily to Prince William during the match. The prince managed a shy, red-faced, giggly, love-struck wave back. Maria Sharapova out in the 1st round and Ana Ivanovic out in the 2nd. End of Australian Open Women's Singles as far as I am concerned!
And then football. Mr. Wenger gave the perfect riposte to people accusing him of signing only inexperienced 16-17 year olds. He signed on a 35 year old,so over the hill, that anymore and he would be underground. Welcome Sol!
And for all you hordes of chest thumping 'We are the best', 'Glory Glory Man Utd' fans out there,do check out your 716 million pounds of debt. And while you are at it, also check out the league table and see who is above you.
Thats that then! Hopefully there will be another one during the next week. So long!