Brand barrage and a return to normalcy

Hello everyone! After constant entreaties I have decided to hand over the reins of the blog to Lalit Modi for this week. So presenting Mr. Modi.
Hello, I am Lalit Modi, IPL Commissioner. I Dare to Dream like the Bank of Rajasthan and I am Fearless like Symantec. I have moved on from my Citi Moments of Success and am now McDowell's Signature New Sign of Success. And I promise not to promote any more brands but like TESCO, Every Little Helps.
Well, I was tired of announcing everything on Twitter, so today I shall use this blog to air my business propositions. My first proposal is to the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. I feel that you are my Standard Chartered Right Partner after your extraordinary announcement that illegal immigrants were not welcome to Italy but beautiful women definitely were. Well Mr. B, how about my sending a few of my team cheerleaders to your country. You have your beautiful women and I can proclaim to my literally tens of followers, that my IPL has now branched into Italy as well. Do let me know, I will certainly get back to you from one of my 27 Blackberrys.
Oh get out Lalit Modi! Sorry folks, a bad egg, that Mr. Modi. But just latching on to that point about Silvio Berlusconi, I can't help wondering if that man happens to be a mechanical engineer from MIT. Only people like us can make such statements!
Meanwhile, notwithstanding my obnoxious, brand -spewing guest editor, we have managed to cling on to the No.1 ranking in test cricket by our collective 1 billion fingernails. Well actually 1 billion minus 1. Sourav Ganguly bit his fingernails into oblivion as he sat watching the match. I am pretty sure his fingernails were not holding on.
But despite being No.1, I am still as confused about my country as those detectives Thomson and Thompson. I was going through a map of India, or Hindistan as it is known here and I could spot every city from Mangalore to Gorakhpur to Darbhanga. But no Mumbai. No Bangalore. And a curiously named 'Deli'. Strange!
Also during this week, one of cricket's most inspiring stories came from a country where the President is confused between a LBW and a BMW. Afghanistan has made it to the T20 World Cup in the Carribean and have landed up in the same group as India and South Africa. Coach Kabir Khan (Chak de India, anyone?) wryly commented on his luck, 'Dale Steyn? No problem.' Well if that Dale Steyn from Nagpur turns up, this band of merry Afghans is going to be obliterated faster than those Bamiyan Buddhas.
And finally Arsenal continued to frustrate its most ardent supporters. I fear this is not even news anymore as the latest setback was a defeat to F.C. Porto. Well this is what the current injury list at Arsenal looks like. Manuel Almunia, William Gallas, Johann Djourou, Eduardo, Robin van Persie, Aaron Ramsey, Kieran Gibbs, Alex Song, Andrey Arshavin and Abou Diaby. And Mr. Wenger wants us to believe, with an injury list as long as this, we can still win something. I would be less surprised if Rakhi Sawant announced tomorrow that she would not show any more skin in the future. Sigh!

Till next week then. Chop chop!!