Controversies galore and some hungry folks

Whew! What a week! Seems as if the India TV head honcho was directing this week's script with a crazed glint in his eyes and screaming 'MORE MORE!! Give me some more breaking news!!!' Well what with the Shiv Sena taking on the world, actresses clambering over public toilet walls, daft cricketers trying to eat cricket balls and John Terry's scandal no. 69786, he has had a pretty satisfying week, I guess.
So, to begin. We now have a nominee for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. And that gentleman is 'The Internet'. 'The Internet' came out with an ingenious statement which said that since people would spend so much time surfing it, they wouldn't have the time to fight wars.( Yeah I can totally imagine Osama drooling over some photos of Angelina Jolie. Mujahideen are dying? Don't worry Jolie will adopt them.) 'The Internet' also claimed that his 'intentions are good'. I guess Barack Obama had a grand chuckle at that last line. Meanwhile the Prez has irked the Beijing Bomber Hu Jintao, by declaring that he plans to hold talks with the Dalai Lama. However considering the action to talk ratio of dear old Barack, Hu Jintao can take a chill pill!
And now, guest editor time. Presenting Virender Sehwag for the cricket section.
'Of course, we play South Africa later this week. Definitely, we will beat them. Of course, their bowlers are not ordinary. But it does not scare me. Any ball outside off? Six. Of course.'
And with that Viru has scooted off to learn some song and dance routine from the incredibly lithe Sourav Ganguly. Possibly to shock the South Africans into surrender. Meanwhile Shahid Afridi's culinary antics have put a real question mark over Australian hospitality and their food rations. However as the generously girthed Ramesh Powar and Samit Patel say (between mouthfuls), 'Chomping at a cricket ball is not done. We never did it inspite of our numerous hunger pangs on the pitch'. And finally a pop quiz. Which line-up do Hiral Patel, Rizwan Cheema, Abdool Samad ,Ashish Bagai, Sunil Dhaniram, Umar Bhatti, Khurram Chohan, Shaheed Keshvani, Trevin Bastiampillai, Harvir Baidwan and Usman Limbada represent? No, not the Shiv Sena / MNS 11 (no Marathi in there). Nope, not even the line-up which carries Lalit Modi's Blackberrys on his world jaunts. This, my friends, is the Canadian national cricket team. Yes, Canada! And I thought that country only had people like Robin Scherbatsky and Pamela Anderson!
Moving on then. After Andy Murray's declaration that he can cry as well as Roger Federer does, the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club (Croquet, whoever plays that!) has decided to hire them for watering their grass courts before Wimbledon. Now that is business sense! I reckon hiring Maria Sharapova as a scarecrow would also work. Her grunts can definitely keep all birds in and around London at bay.
And in football, after the terrible hiding at the hands (or feet) of Man Utd, the Gunners head to Chelsea for what promises to be an interesting mismatch. Too bad Monsieur Wenger didn't buy Wayne Bridge. Bridge v Terry at this juncture would be a machismo contest which would surely put Eric Cantona to shame!
And finally, a dig at my beloved AIESEC in MU, where the EB has given themselves a delightful new name. The MnMz. Ahem. Wannabe Eminems racing around in Mahindra n Mahindras? Nope. Its named after the candy. Let your brain chew on that for a while.
Signing out till next week then. Bye-bye!!