Sachin Tendulkar

When Sachin Tendulkar travelled to Pakistan to face one of the finest bowling attacks ever assembled in cricket, Michael Schumacher was yet to race a F1 car, Lance Armstrong had never been to the Tour de France, Diego Maradona was still the captain of a world champion Argentina team, Pete Sampras had never won a Grand Slam.
When Tendulkar embarked on a glorious career taming Imran and company, Roger Federer was a name unheard of; Lionel Messi was in his nappies, Usain Bolt was an unknown kid in the Jamaican backwaters. The Berlin Wall was still intact, USSR was one big, big country, Dr Manmohan Singh was yet to "open" the Nehruvian economy.
It seems while Time was having his toll on every individual on the face of this planet, he excused one man. Time stands frozen in front of Sachin Tendulkar. We have had champions, we have had legends, but we have never had a Sachin Tendulkar and we never will.
- Time Magazine


Happy Birthday Sachin Tendulkar

The Return - Yet Again

Yes! The return to Mixed Bag for yet another post. More than 2 weeks since I last spewed something here. During which, half formed ideas have spun through my head with Usain Bolt-esque speed without really forming anything concrete. Not that I have managed to come up with anything concrete at last, but it is my space and my drivel! The comments section is open for you.
So, they say 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scornd'. And what fury! A volcano erupted in Iceland throwing up enough ash to turn Europe topsy turvy. Flights cancelled, people on Easter holidays unable to get back, work coming to a standstill, it sure has been some eruption. Oh but wait! Where is the 'woman scornd'? That is an easy one now! Ayesha Siddique of course, the other Mrs. Shoaib Malik. Thought you could fly off easily into the sunset with Sania, eh Shoaib? Never that easy now, is it! In the meantime, I have a statutory warning for my tweet happy friends reading this. 'TWEETING WILL LOSE YOU YOUR JOB'. Don't believe me? Ask some of the most prolific tweeters. Shashi Tharoor. Or Lalit Modi(in a few days now). Or the mysterious Sunanda Pushkar. The woman's 'sweat equity' has now got Rahul Dravid thinking whether he can encash all those drenched shirts of his. Would be a billionaire if he did that, for sure.
In a parallel universe though, the slam bang continues. And so does Danny Morrison and his perversion. This time, displaying an intimate knowledge of fellow bleater L. Siva's anatomy. 'Gee Siva!!! That bat's got to be thicker than both your thighs put together'!!!! Right Mr. Morrison. If you are done with that and taking gratuitous upskirt views of the cheerleaders, can we have some punditry on the cricket please? Robin Jackman seems to have perfected that art though. So now, just by standing near a team dugout and looking conspirationally at the camera, you can make out what a team is thinking. 'They need more wickets'. Wink Wink!! Nice one Jackers!
Notwithstanding the advertisements though, this IPL has certainly given us some never seen before memorable sights. Sourav Ganguly diving, MS Dhoni punching himself in the face like a prize boxer, Sourav Ganguly stopping a ball while diving WITHOUT injuring himself in the bargain, Virender Sehwag having a strike rate of less than 100 in an innings in any form of cricket, Sourav Ganguly actually pulling off a blinder of a catch intentionally and many more. Bring on the semis now!
And lastly moving on to the highly depressing Gunners. Flattened by Lionel Messi, a first league defeat to hated rivals in 11 years and a defeat to a team which had last beaten them when Elvis Presley was still the 'King of Rock and Roll'. The last one, coming after throwing away a 2-0 lead in the last 10 mins, nearly made me go into hibernation. As the inevitable talks of 'next season being The Season' are rolled out yet again, the cash happy thug, Emmanuel Adebayor returns during the weekend. Can the Gunners wipe that self satisfied smirk off his face? I think Vivek Oberoi has a higher chance of starring in a movie, which would remotely classify as a 'hit'. Please Arsene! Do something. Show him who is the boss!
So then, till the next time I take a laxative to cure my writer's block again! Adios!

Confused and nauseated

Apologies. I have been so busy following the IPL, that updating the blog never came to my mind. More on the IPL and its surprisingly insightful commentators later though.
For all the people who regularly read this piece of literary finesse (some liken it to verbal diarrhoea, but every one is entitled to their own opinion, hmph!), you would know that picking on the Shiv Sena is one of my pet hobbies. Not surprising that, considering they serve up morsels of hare-brained schemes as regularly as Shashi Tharoor tweets. Things were getting pretty serious and grown up in the world of politics. The health care bill was passed in Yankeeland, the right to education bill was passed in India, the SIT grilled Narendra Modi for 9 straight hours on his role in the 2002 riots. Heck, we needed some juvenile frivolity. And right on cue, our Sainiks stepped up to the plate. Sania Mirza cannot be a true Indian if she is marrying a Pakistani. If she had India's best interests at heart, she would have married an Indian. Supreme logic sir. One tiny little question though. I have heard Ajmal Kasab speaks Marathi these days and asks for Indian newspapers. So I assume that makes him a dyed in the wool Mumbaikar. So by your logic, is Ajmal Kasab more of an Indian than Sania Mirza? Oops! I nearly used Shiv Sena and logic in the same sentence. My bad.
Staying on with Pakistan. One of their finest cricketers announced his retirement after having a life ban slapped on him. But Mohammad Yousuf says he might appeal against his ban. For what purpose exactly Yousuf? To stay retired? Meanwhile closer home, the IPL is on in full swing and the commentators are slowly getting into their groove. Danny Morrison though, is so well into his groove that the groove is threatening to become a canyon. The man goes ballistic when he sees the Double Ds and Pandee (Manish Pandey). And then just to calm himself down, he has a look at Virat 'Cool as a cucumber' Coolie. Perverted and racist, Mr. Morrison. You should be hit for a DLFer. Two commentators really working hard to impress their boss are our own L. Siva and ICL returnee Russel Arnold. So while Russel laments 'Shame he is 25. He is such a good player but cannot be considered for the Citi Under-23 Success of the tournament', Siva takes it further with 'That should have been a Karbonn Kamaal catch, but it has gone for a DLF Maximum and it is a Citi Moment of Success for the batting side. Time now, for a Max Mobile Strategic Time Out for the bowling side.' He needs a pay raise Mr. Modi, are you listening? And of course, the sight of the MRF Blimp makes all our commentators go wild with delight as each takes pains to outdo the other in describing how it is the eighth wonder of the world.
In football, I am still recovering from the effects of the Arsenal-Barcelona match. With the match poised at 2-2, next Tuesday will have them squaring off at the Camp Nou. Considering the way the first leg was played, I am hoping for collective amnesia to strike the entire Barca team and they forget how to kick a ball for 90 minutes. Will that give us victory? Wait and watch.
Till next week then (hopefully). Ciao!