Chaos. It is everywhere. And don't we absolutely love it. We after all elected a group of 15 parties to form a government. It was hardly going to be smooth sailing now was it? Every morning with a maniacal gleam, we scan the newspapers for new scams. In fact I am pretty sure the next Wikileaks expose will reveal that an early morning coffee with a new scam is fast becoming the laxative of choice in India.
And what scams we have. We invented the zero. And now our politicians take great pride in upholding this rich heritage. So while Laloo Yadav goes for a 10000 crore scam, Madhu Koda goes for 100000 crores. Suresh Kalmadi adds another 0. While A. Raja puts another 0 in his pocket. And mind you, our politicians are a generous lot. Kapil Sibal throws a few 0s in Arun Shourie's direction. Sushma Swaraj happily chucks a few 0s back. So much so that our entire Parliament is filled with a bunch of zeroes. Pun absolutely unintended.
So apparently a few MPs were bribed to keep the Manmohan Singh government in power in 2008. All the hullabaloo and righteous anger and shock aside, the news was probably as surprising as finding out that Charlie Sheen had a few screws loose in that head of his. Sadly, the warlock Sheen has been sacked from Two and a Half Men. All because of the biggest clash of egos in this world since Lalit Modi once looked at himself in the mirror.
However, another expose from our beloved whistle blower, Wikileaks (I have a strong feeling those guys have some blood relation with our traffic policemen), claim that all of Sheen's antics with 'tiger blood' and 'winning' were in fact tactics to land himself a new job. As chief motivator for the Bangladesh Cricket Team. With the goddesses acting as cheerleaders. Perfect strategy that! Please take note Mr. Modi.
Unfortunately with Bangladesh out of the World Cup, poor Charlie is out of a job again. The mind numbingly long group stages of the World Cup are also over. In fact the mind numbing has gone to such an extent, that Aussie coach Tim Nielsen is now challenging Ravi Shastri for spouting the most inanities. So competing with 'cricket is cricket' and 'a six is a six is a six', comes 'Our match against India is a mini final'. Oh right Mr. Nielsen. We never knew what a 'quarter final' meant in the first place! Actually it is no surprise that the World Cup has been so dull until now. Pakistan have been exceptionally well behaved (more like calm before the storm is my guess) with the exception of the one man chaos army of Kamran Akmal. And when the most exciting games involve England (of all countries), you know just how soporific things can get. Granted that the England players are and play like a bunch of choking South Africans, but in the end they are all those stiff upright guys anyway. We need some chaos here!
One trusted source of mine within the ICC reports that they are actually considering the idea of making the remaining teams watch videos of Arsenal defending to give them an idea of the sort of chaos desired. One ball to defend and the team forgets how to defend, what defending is and probably even what sport involves defending. Cue utter chaos. More of that in the World Cup should make it fun to watch.
But there is one person who is happy in all this chaos. Heath Ledger's Joker is probably looking down from somewhere and cackling away at the sight of it all! Theory in practice.
